Terrifier (2016)

It's a tough call: listen to heavy machinery and arrhythmic banging for 24 hours straight or sit through Terrifier. The reviewer still wishes they had been presented with the former option. It was confirmed at a later date that the heavy machinery did, in fact, provide a richer experience.

The film is distinctly mean-spirited in a way that cannot be said for all of horror or even exploitation cinema. The film is bereft of story; poorly scripted scenes just connect protracted sequences of senseless violence.

The quality of the acting seems to suggest that, for the performers, as much as a single dollar bill is on the line. Even Art the Clown comes off as more strange than actually terrifying. That's a significant statement considering the extreme violence the character engages in; he remains, at most, creepy. But never scary.

The confrontation between Art and Tara involving a piece of wood is extremely unconvincing, both in writing and choreography. This is a recurrent problem with the film; none of the struggle depicted feels real.

Setting out only to be disgusting, Terrifier succeeds in that effort and thus catastrophically fails as a film. Irredeemable in all ways, the only thing you should be terrified of is wasting time on this movie.